I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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