Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Holy sore nipples Batman
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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