Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
