come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
