I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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