It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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