Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
