Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
