she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Soap is not a condiment
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
