Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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