But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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