If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
