When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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