Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
