I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
