I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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