I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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