What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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