You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
