You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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