Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ttyl tear gas
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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