The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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