Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
