just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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