Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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