i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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