when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
