Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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