And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
