Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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