So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This baby is an asshole
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
