The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
