i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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