The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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