This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
