it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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