I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
