I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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