I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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