dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
barbara walters just said penis...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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