So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
