apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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