I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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