is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Still dying that you shit outside
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
