how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
