White coat. Heels.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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