Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
