I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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