you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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