a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
