K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Randomize
