Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i love accidental penises.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
